Tuesday, August 18, 2009

New Blog!

Hi all. Life has been pretty wonderful and crazy since Lorelai joined our family. She's definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me. I just wanted to let you know that I'll no longer be posting here. But, I've got a new blog started here: Little Lorelai

Hope to see you over there! I have a lot of catching up to do. Lots of stories and photos and video to come...

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Lorelai Elizabeth is Here!

Well, I did it. And, it wasn't a dream. Little Lorelai Elizabeth came into this world on May 1st at 10:48 a.m., weighing 7lbs, 11.6 oz., and was 20.5 inches long. She is so incredibly beautiful.

So, are you looking at the date and thinking to yourself, "She waited an entire MONTH to update us?" Well the answer is YES. Get over it. If you had any idea what I'd just been through, you'd cut me some slack. To review all the events would make up a tome, and I literally don't have the time or energy to do it. So, here it is in a nutshell....

The hospital experience was an absolute nightmare.
  1. I had a C-Section with no anesthesia. Yes. Go back and read that again, people. The anesthesia didn't work and I felt every thing. She was even lodged inside me and they couldn't get her out. Had to use suction. Anyone seen Texas Chain Saw Massacre? Exactly.
  2. Lorelai became very ill and ended up in the NICU. We didn't know if she'd make it. We were beside ourselves with worry. But, God was good and she got better. She came home 1 week after she was born.
  3. While in the hospital, I ended up with a blood clot in my leg. Yup.
  4. There are so many details of sadness, stress and no sleep, that I can't go into here. But, it was brutal.
I'll post some recent photos of our precious angel later. Blogger is having a hissy fit at the moment and won't let me. But, let's just say that once we got home things got a lot better. We've become a happy little family. Even the dog loves her. The late night feedings are killer cruel. But, every time I look into our precious little girl's face, I became all ga-ga and dopey. She absolutely melts my heart.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Holy Crap! I'm having this baby in 6 days!

36 weeks, 5 days

I'm sick to my stomach, feeling like I've fallen off a cliff, yet excited at the same time. Weirdest combination of emotions ever! Yesterday, our OB appt. proved to be one of the most surprising of all. He decided that this baby is getting too big and is worried that my body won't last until May 8th. So, we're delivering her on May 1st instead. Part of me is not surprised at all. I've been saying for months now that I thought she was coming the week of April 27th. But, another part of me is freaked out by my motherly intuition. How the hell did I know this?

So, of course, now we're running around like chickens with our heads cut off. We've got some major house cleaning to do and lots of errands, shopping and preparations to make. For example, Tuesday, we've got an appointment with the California Highway Patrol to properly install our car seat. We've already put it in ourselves. But, neither one of us trust the job we've done. I mean, are you supposed to jimmy rig it with duct tape to get it to stay on secure? Okay. Just kidding about the tape. But, we're really not sure if it is in right.

A.D.D Moment: I haven't even packed our bag yet! So, that is most definitely happening today. aaaack!

This pregnancy has also taken its toll over the last couple of days. My hands and face are getting pudgier, I've gained 3 lbs in the last week, and I'm really , really, uncomfortable. And, I feel like I'm about ready to die half the time. And no. I'm not kidding. I woke up at 3 am this morning and couldn't catch my breath. I had diarrhea and had nausea. My fingers were the size of sausages, I could barely walk, and my blood pressure was sky high at 132/102. That only made me feel worse. I woke up SG seeking comfort. And, as he lay there lovingly rubbing my back, I had a little meltdown and felt better. Sometimes a few tears can be the best medicine.

Speaking of emotional instability....

I have no idea what to really feel at the moment. On the outside, no one would ever know the turmoil going on inside me. I'm scared to death about being a mom. And I'm praying to God I don't screw things up. I want our daughter to be raised in a nurturing enviroment. And, I hope I can live up to the task. We are about ready to embark on an incredible journey. What an amazing gift! I just keep asking myself, "How in the world did I get here?". I was supposed to be miserable and living alone at the age of 44. At least that is what it looked like would happen to me just 3 years ago. Everything changed in the blink of an eye. And here I am... married to the perfect man and finally having the baby I always dreamed about. I'm serious people. This better not be a dream because I'm taking it out on someone if I wake up. Along with all the fear comes this amazingly huge dose of humility and awe. I'm going to be a mommy. And no matter how many times I say it to myself, it still feels like I'm making things up in my head. So now, when I say, "I'm going to be a mommy in 6 days", it is an unbelievable thing to grasp in my little ant brain.

I saw my girlfriend Joy's baby yesterday. She was just hours old and perfect in every way. And, I couldn't stop staring at her. In just a few days, I'll be laying in a similar bed as Joy, with a lucite bassinet next to me and a perfect little bundle of love of our own sleeping inside. I'm pinching myself and haven't woken up yet. I guess this must be real.

Please...let it be real.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Oh no....

35 weeks, 3 days

...I don't look uncomfortable AT ALL!

On a "lighter note", we have a scheduled delivery date! Our little girl shall be delivered at approximately 12:30 pm on April 8th. SG was devastated to hear this, as it is the opening day of the new Star Trek movie! LOL Should I let him go and tough it out on my own?

My OB appt went well today. I gained a pound in the last week and am now up 17 lbs. But, that is nearly all baby. Today, the ultrasound measured her at 9lbs. But, the technician is sure it is more like 8. Good god, let's hope so! I still have 3 weeks to go. Do you think I'll make it? All I gotta say is, THANK GOD FOR C-SECTIONS!

After having over a 9lb baby, I expect to receive a bouquet of roses with the following card:

Dear Michelle,

Congrats on your huge baby girl. Thanks so much for not involving me in the birth.

Your Vagina

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Something Strange Is Happening

35 weeks, 2 days

Something very strange has been happening. And today it got a lot worse. My husband and my dog are acting funny. No really. It is like they are sensing something in the air.

SG has been getting more and more lovey dovey with me over the last week. Today, he kept coming into our room just to give me a kiss, or a hug, or to tell me that he loved me. I honestly don't know what has prompted this. I did nothing knowingly on my end to stir things up. He's just....I don't know.....really in love at the moment. And, it just warms my heart to no end. He even came into the room when I was laying down and said that he's not sure what is wrong with him today. He's been getting "choked up" at the smallest things. He read about the remains of a baby mammoth that was found all by itself and completely intact. It looks like it just laid down for whatever reason, and died all alone. That got SG a little weepy, and he had to come in to see me. It is very sweet. But, very odd all at the same time.

Then there is my dog. My 90+ lb golden retriever has been acting similarly. Now, I've had this dog for over 10 years. So, I know his behavior pretty darn well. Over the last week, he's been very protective of me and won't leave me side. If I sit at the dining table, he needs to lay under it next to my feet. If I walk into the kitchen, he needs to follow me. If I lay on the sofa, he snuggles up on the floor right next to me. I go into the bedroom, and he must be within a couple of feet. Over his lifetime, he's had periods when he's gotten fairly needy. But not like this. Today, I was in the bathroom (which he never follows me into) working a flat iron through my hair. I heard a little whimper. When I went to the door, there he was, with a really sad face as if he was worried I'd been in there too long. I pushed open the door a little farther and he came in to lay next to my feet while I finished. So darn adorable. But, I need to ask why. Does he sense something?

Do my darling husband and doggie both have some deep knowing about what is about to happen? They say that dogs get very attached to women right before they go into labor. So, perhaps that has something to do with it.

It's all very strange to me. But, I can't help but feel terribly, terribly loved because of it.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

All Is Well

34 weeks, 1 day

Just a quick note to let you know that the appointment with the perinatologist and the urologist went well. Our OB was concerned that her ultrasound showed some signs of progression in her kidney problem. But, the two docs agreed that nothing really has changed. This means she doesn't have to be delivered early! I'll be seeing my OB again on Thursday, at which time I'm sure we'll be discussing a "normal" date for a c-section. He really thinks it is the best route for me at this point, due to my age, weight, high blood pressure and lower back issues. I've come to agree. The weeks are tick, tick, ticking by and there is no stopping it!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Creating Memories

34 weeks, 0 days

We were able to get a 3D shot of our little girl at our OB appointment this last week. Will you just look at those cheeks!! I just want to eat her up!

We had a whole lot of drama at the OB/ultrasound appt. But, I'm waiting until tomorrow to give you the full update. We'll be seeing her specialists again and will have more information to report. Her kidney problem looks like it may have progressed a little. And, there was talk of delivering her as early as the last week of this month! All to say, our heads have been spinning.

SG and I have been talking a lot about how we need to savor these last few days. Though we are going to love having a baby in our lives, we also realize that what we have today will be gone
forever. For the last few years its been just he and I, and our dog. Lots of quiet times and last minute jaunts to wherever the wind blows us. It is going to be a while before we can be so carefree again. We can't afford a real Babymoon, so we've been trying to do things that don't cost a lot. Today we took a day trip up to the Antelope Valley to see the California Poppies in bloom. They are literally at their peak. It was a gorgeous day. We took a lot of pictures, had some good laughs, and went on a relaxing drive. I don't think either one of us will ever forget this gorgeous day!

It looks like I'm already carrying two gallons of whole milk in my chest. Geez!

Here are some roadside beauties! I just love California Poppies...

Here is SG howling at our golden retriever, Harper (who is directly in back of him). Someone decided to take a dump. And, someone realized he didn't have a bag to pick it up!

On Saturday, my sweet neighbors gave me a baby shower! We had a great time, great food, fun games and oooooo, delicious CAKE! I'm a big fan of cake. Everyone was so incredibly generous. And, we got some great gifts.....blankets, bath supplies, clothes, clothes, clothes, a beautiful Moses basket, gift cards and little toys! It was the first of two showers that I've been blessed with. And, it was tons of fun. My next shower is coming up this Saturday.
Stay tuned. We'll have more to report in the next few days!

Monday, March 30, 2009


33 weeks, 0 days

I think she's dropped a little. My belly seems to be shaped a little differently and I'm feeling lots of pressure "down there". It is definitely a new feeling I've not had before. And the exhaustion. Lordy! I've had a couple of days recently where I slept like a fiend. Saturday I slept for 7 hours.....during the freaking day! I woke up in the morning, had breakfast, went back to bed and slept for 4 more hours...then, I awakened to only stay up for an hour....went back to sleep for 3 hours....ate dinner....and then went to sleep for the night. How is anyone supposed to get anything done with THAT schedule? It was as if I had been hit by a Mack truck.

We've now got all of our diapers, covers and even a large wet bag for our diaper pail. The Moby wrap came in and SG and I had fun putting it on him and having him walking around the house stuffed with a pillow shaped to look like a baby. It was a fun time of "playing house" and he was beaming from ear to ear.

The Braxton Hicks contractions are becoming more frequent and a lot stronger. Nothing to be concerned about. But, all that energy being used up must be burning some calories. Getting on the scale yesterday showed that I've actually lost 2 lbs in the last 6 days. Perhaps it was the recovery from the massive amount of salt intake I had on Tuesday. Something tells me I'm not that far off. The sausage fingers disappeared a couple of days ago. To date, I've only gained a total of 16 lbs. So, I'm feeling pretty darn good about that (pats self on back).

I've been playing a game with our little girl this week. Her growing size and movements make it much easier to distinguish her body parts. Lately, I'm feeling either her foot and shin or her hand and forearm. All I know, is that it is a long bony part of her body. And, I can feel the entire section with my hand whenever she presses up against me. It is pretty darn cool. She presses, and I rub it. She pulls away, waits a second and then does it again. It totally cracks me up. Though she's not here for me to hold yet. I feel like we are getting to spend a little "quality" time together and are slowly discovering a few things about one another.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Sausage Fingers

32 weeks, 2 days

I took off my wedding rings a couple of weeks ago because I noticed they were becoming a little tight. But, no one prepared me for the sausage fingers I was about to start getting. Now, I do have to blame my salty diet yesterday as part of the problem. By the end of the day, I had drank a load of water and hardly peed at all. I really think eight glasses of water went straight to my fingers. And, before I went to bed, I had gained 5 lbs from the time I was weighed that morning. Well, of course, my salt/water balance finally hit equilibrium in the middle of the night, and I ended up peeing up a storm....all into the "wee" hours of the morning. That's what you get when you eat McDonald's sausage McMuffin for breakfast and pizza for lunch. It isn't something I normally do. But, I was out and about yesterday and needed some quick meals. Don't think I'll be trying that again! Michella likes her sleep!

My weekly OB appt. went well. My BP was great, at 130/84 (the lowest it has been in the Dr.'s office in weeks). Baby's heart rate was 162 bpm and my urine sample was free and clear! Gotta love a good appointment.

Our little girl is definitely getting bigger. I can tell just from the increased pressure in my belly and the power behind her kicks and punches. SG and I spent the morning in bed together giggling at her activity. And, the little princess has already been able to stop any romantic activity between us. We were kissing and hugging and feeling all lovey-dovey, when she started kicking so hard that SG felt her punch his tummy. Talk about killing the moment!

This week, we bought a great used changing table and SG spent the time repainting it and assembling it for her nursery space. I also bought little cute storage baskets to fit on its shelves. Now it looks too darn cute. Our bedroom is getting pretty cramped in here! But, a family that sleeps together is always snug as a bug and in love together. Even our doggie has had to find a new place to sleep next to SG on the floor. We are all adjusting in one way or another, that is for sure.

Less than eight weeks to go. And, she could be here as early as four and a half! It is still so hard to believe!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Baby Shower

I've got two Baby Showers coming up and I can't wait. The first is in a couple of weeks and is a shower for all the ladies in our neighborhood. It should be loads of fun. The second is being hosted by my girlfriend, Dianne, and is for close friends and family. She just sent me a copy of my invitation. Isn't it pretty?

And, here is a new belly pic, taken this morning at 31 weeks, 1 day. =)

Cabin Fever

31 weeks, 0 days

I'm about ready to take someone out. Anyone. I don't care who it is. I've lost all patience with this partial bed rest order and so I've been bouncing off the walls.

When SG is in writing mode, I must refrain from bothering him with things like, oh I don't know, speech. So, I spend most of the day doing light tasks around the house, sleeping, cooking, or perusing the internet for tasty morsels to keep me entertained. But, I'm laying down more than anything. For someone who is very active, it is a tough thing to tie yourself down to a bed or sofa all day. And, it is driving me freaking crazy. I can't take another day of it.

I need sunshine and daffodils and smiles from random strangers. I need to see the world again.

Our little girl continues to grow and kick and create quite a stir in my belly. She still takes her major naps between 11 am and 3pm. But, wakes up with more energy than ever. Last night, she discovered my left rib cage with her feet. She's usually folded up in a little ball and kicks me on my left side. But not last night. Oh no. I got lots of big jolts way up high, as if she finally realized she could stretch her legs for the first time. I've also started getting a lot of Braxton Hicks Contractions over the past week. Nothing regular and not painful. Just very uncomfortable when they happen.

We had another BP scare the other day after I went to the mall with my mom and walked a little too much. I came home and it was 146/101. I spoke with my OB and he told me to keep monitoring it. It went down to a normal level again after I laid on my left side and drank lots of water. Every day, it seems like the bar keeps changing and I really have no idea what my limits are. At the mall, I thought I was taking it really easy. I walked slow. I stopped at benches and rested in between stores. And, I was only on my feet for about an hour. So frustrating.

But today is the 31 week mark, and we're starting to feel that impending excitement. Soon, all this will be over and I'll have our beautiful baby in my arms. It is the only thing that is keeping me sane at the moment (besides my adoring husband, of course). On the pregnancy forum that I frequent, 2 of our May babies were born this weekend. Both women were about a week or so ahead of me and went into labor on their own. That news was a shock to the system to both me and SG. We really want her to stay inside me until the last week of April at the least!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Apparently, I'm having a...

30 weeks, 3 days

The other night I had the strangest dream. My sister and mother were visiting and they were feeling my tummy for kicks. The sun was shining through the window and bouncing off my tummy, making my skin translucent. We could see inside my womb! Expecting to see our little baby, I screamed with delight! But then, I noticed where her feet should be were these long ugly talons. Her head had a long pointy beak. And, instead of arms were these sharp spiny needles that made up her wings.

That's right folks. I'm having a pelican.

I was shocked. Where was my baby? What the hell am I going to do with a pelican? I wanted my baby back and no one could console me. And then, I started to feel guilty for not loving my pelican like I should and I felt like a terrible mother.

Guess I need to prepare for this new harsh reality. First plan of action?.. Stocking up on items from the frozen seafood aisle.

Friday, March 6, 2009

All Hail The Conquering Blood Pressure

29 weeks, 4 days

I'm crying "Uncle". That damn blood pressure has beat me again! At yesterday's OB appt., my BP was a frightening 176/106! That put everyone in the office in a bit of a fluster. And, I was forced to lay down on my left side for a while to see if it would fix itself. They took it two more times and it dropped significantly. But, was still up there at about 135/93 when the Dr. finally came in to see me. Between that, and some sudden moments of near fainting spells, I'm definitely feeling the pregnancy woes. I can't stay on my feet for more than a few minutes at a time without getting winded or dizzy. The other day I got that numbing in my ears.....the one that says "you better lay down, or I'm doing it for you." So, I'm having to stay off my feet and get plenty of bed rest. That is terribly annoying, and not easy to do, when there is so much to be done to prepare for the baby, let alone what needs to happen to keep the house running smoothly and cleanly.

Our little girl was measuring 8 days ahead and weighed in at approx. 4 lbs! Wow. She is getting sooooo big! That's 1 lb gained in only two weeks! No wonder I'm feeling so much weight and pressure in my belly lately. Every time I get up, it feels like she's going to drop out. Some of the best news is that she's packing on the pounds, but I'm not! I've not gained any weight at all in over a month! This alone brings a big smile to my face. Guess I'm losing while she's gaining, so it is all balancing out.

We've been taking lots of classes at the hospital this week (which has added to my exhaustion and stress level). But, it has been very informative and fun. Tomorrow is the labor and birthing course which will instruct us on breathing, coaching, focal points....all those things that I secretly think are useless because I'll be in PAIN! LOL When I had really bad morning sickness, poor SG couldn't touch me because it made me feel worse. So, I'm fearing all of these techniques will just annoy the hell out of me. I feel sorry for him already.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Kidney update

29 weeks, 3 days

I'll be writing an entry later after my OB appt today. But, wanted to fill you in on our appt. that we had with the perinatologist and the urologist this week...

They've finally determined that she definitely has a Duplex Collecting System in her right kidney. At this stage in her development, they do not foresee it resolving on its own. The upper pole of her kidney has a second section and a second ureter, which is not properly dumping fluid into her bladder. So, after she is born, a few things will take place. They'll immediately give her antibiotics for at least 10 weeks, and then monitor her development closely (via ultrasounds and other lab work). They'll then decide which type of surgery she'll be needing. They may have to go in and remove the entire duplicated section. Or, it may be relieved by simply making an incision at the blockage site. Either way, the good news is, it looks like she'll have two healthy and working kidneys when it is all done!

The two doctors we have that are working together on this have our complete trust. They've been extremely informative and sensitive to our needs and questions. Everything else about our little girl seems to look great. Check in later for my OB update from today, as well as some funny antidotes from our hospital classes this week.

Thursday, February 26, 2009


28 weeks, 3 days

Now, I hate to have to break this to you. But, the beautiful pregnant woman in my blog logo is a stranger. I only wish I could look so svelt. The reality is, I'm a 44 yr old tub. These were taken today. And, I've achieved the perfect pregnancy mask....the one that says "Look at me! I'm full of energy and am loads of fun to be around!" Okay. I admit it. I'm still fun. But, that only happens when I get my extra sleep and don't feel like fainting, puking, or am experiencing the worst pelvic pain of my life. Other than that, I'm just peachy! (grin)

My blood pressure has been great. So, I'm officially off bed rest and only have to see my OB once every two weeks. I've even lost a couple of pounds in the last 3 weeks. But, I hate to say, that is because I've been on the awesome "I feel like I'm going to puke every night" diet. Two nights ago, I did just that.....5 times! And, I gotta say, it wasn't pretty. There is nothing worse than... 1) feeling sick to your tummy and having your little baby move around and kick you. The sensation coupled with the nausea leaves much to be desired. 2) puking when your tummy is this big! I could barely bend over and therefore my aim into the toilet sucked. I'm praying to God, and praying hard, that this is just a short phase. I really don't want to have to go through this the rest of my pregnancy. I was just starting to feel good!

Well, we've finally ordered a crib! And the great news is, my mom offered to buy it for us as a gift! After I was put on bedrest, reality hit us. And, I realized I didn't have the energy or time to be scraping and painting the old set our friends were giving us. So, we backed down and decided to buy something new. More expensive, but much less stress. We should get it sometime next week. I can't wait! And, our bedding should arrive tomorrow via UPS. I pray to God we like it. We only saw it online, and so it may not be what we are hoping for. Guess we'll know soon enough. Things are finally starting to come together. Now, we are just waiting for SG's contracts to come so we can get paid!!!!! The world is such a better place when you've got money.

Next up, is finding a dresser to match the crib. Being that our little house has absolutely no closet space, we need to get all the extra storage we can. So, buying a baby dresser is just plain stupid. We're on the lookout for a nice adult sized dresser to help share the burden.

The coming week is going to be crazy, and filled with doctor appointments and a slew of baby classes. Look for an interesting set of updates over the next two weeks!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

On The Rise

27 weeks, 1 day

Woo Hoo! The 3rd Trimester has arrived!

I'd been having loads of energy the last week, and so I'd been up and about doing lots of errands, shopping and trying to start getting ready for baby. But, it looks like I may have done a tad too much.

We went in for my ultrasound and OB appt. on Thursday and was shocked to hear that my resting blood pressure had got up to 168/101 after sitting in the waiting room for an hour. It very well could have been because I was annoyed with the long wait & had a stomach ache and bad gas pains. But, that didn't seem to matter to the doctor. He threatened to admit me in the hospital if it didn't get dramatically better. That freaked the living daylights out of me. And of course, I spent the rest of the night having nightmares about it. He increased my BP meds and told me that he wants me to stay off my feet and rest (which I've been doing diligently), and start coming in for weekly appointments. Aaargh!

I'm happy to report, my BP has been fantastic since. It has been averaging about 120/82 as long as I rest a lot and continue to take my meds. My heart rate continues to be higher (in the 90's and occasionally in the 100s), but he doesn't seem as concerned about that. So, hopefully, since I've been a good girl this week and things seem to have improved, he'll let me do a little more in the future.

Some days are still coma/sleepy days, while others are filled with lots of energy for me. She's also been having a few quiet days again. But, this morning kicked into high gear as soon as I woke up. I'm feeling quite athletic, being treated like a batting cage and soccer field! At her appointment, she (at 26w,3d) weighed approx. 2.5 lbs, was about 15 inches long and looked great. Now that she is bigger, we could see more of her inflamed ureter, so by the time we see the specialists in a couple of weeks there will be more to diagnose. Our little girl was moving about, wiggling her head and body, sticking her tongue out, swallowing and taking practice breaths. We could even see hair on her head and that she has her eyes open now. Soooo adorable. It always amazes us how big she is becoming. In the ultrasound, we could no longer see her entire body in the frame. Now it is curled up, with her rump high at the top of my uterus and her head down low. (Just like we like it!) And her legs are now folded inward so she can get some good kicks in my side. (Which she took advantage of this morning without shame!)

We also got some presents this week. My mom made some cute little white wash clothes. And we got our first piece of baby gear last night, when my friend, Kristen, came to visit. She brought an item off my Baby's R Us registery, which was a Boppy bouncer. And, my neighbors Marie and Donna are really getting into throwing my neighborhood baby shower. We recieved the invitation this weekend! Everything is starting to come together and time is ticking away so quickly!!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Show me the money!

26 weeks, 0 days

It is amazing to think that if our little girl was born today, she'd have a 85% chance of survival. All I can say about that is , "Wow".

This week, SG and I spent an hour at JC Penney in the baby dept., where they were having a sale on clothes. We had so much fun picking little summer dresses, sweaters, jumpsuits and booties (all so incredibly cute). I also made my first run to the fabric store and bought some flannel to start making homemade wipes. I've already prewashed the 2 yards, and will probably start cutting and sewing today. It was a rainy weekend, and so we were unable to pick up the crib and changing table our friends are giving us. This only increased my anxiety, as I'm chomping at the bit to get the darn things painted. We also purchased our crib bedding online, and hope we like it in person as much as we do from the pictures.

Our little girl had a couple of days of being very quiet this last week. It bothered me enough to get out the home doppler again, just to make sure I could find a heartbeat. All was fine. And, the very next day, she started dancing around in my belly again. This morning, SG and I laid in bed feeling her move around like crazy. It is funny how her activity levels can change so dramatically.

The weight gain is slowly increasing. As of today, I've gained a total of 14 lbs. And, I've been slowly noticing my blood pressure increasing over the last few weeks. The last few days I've topped 130/90, which is not good. I've got an appt. with my OB on Thurs. and I'm pretty confident he'll be increasing my BP meds.

I got a jury summons from LA County and am on-call this week. I'm praying to God they don't request me. I really don't want to have to go through the whole ordeal. If I get picked for a jury, I can't imagine it being a good thing. I can't sit too long because of my pubic symphysis dysfunction. It is just way too painful. And, I'd have to ask for a break about every 1/2 hour or so, because I've got to continually go pee. Would they really have a woman who is in her 7th month sit on a panel?

The reality contiues to kick in of how quickly she'll be here. I've got two girlfriends who have already started planning my baby showers. They are setting dates and buying invitations. And here I sit, with not so much as a piece of baby gear or a crib to look at. I've made my massively long list of things we need to get. But, that's all it is at this point....a long list, with maybe 2 things crossed off. Now that SG has his contract coming, we can start buying once the funds arrive. But until then, I have to continue to pretend I'm being patient. I'm a project planner, a doer and an achiever. So, to have to sit and wait is driving me batty.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Every Once In A While...

25 weeks, 2 days

... my mind wanders off and I start thinking about how I'm pregnant... and it freaks me out a little. I wonder if I'll be able to handle the pressure and the responsibility. I worry about what the future holds. For a moment, I think about how there is no getting out of this....how a little baby is growing inside me and I can't change my mind about it. There is nothing I can do to stop the future from arriving. And, I just want to start bawling.

But it only lasts for a couple of seconds. And then, I'm back to dreaming and smiling and planning and getting excited about having a baby in our lives. That little moment of fear is fleeting. And, in some ways, I think healthy. Raising a child is a huge responsibility. And, it is going to dramatically change our cozy and comfortable lives.

A little dose of reality never hurt anyone.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Stop the Clock, Please

25 weeks, 0 days

Time seems to be flying by. How did we get this far so quickly? I'm nowhere near ready. I haven't started my shopping! It has taken me weeks of investigating just to learn about all my different options. Who would have known that all of my research experience at USC could be boiled down to learning about cloth diapering and travel systems?

Our little girl is getting bigger by the day, and her movements continue to be more prominent. I've noticed lately that she's reacting more to sounds. When I'm quiet, she's pretty quiet. But, when I'm talking or laughing with SG, or have the music or TV on, she's awake and active. This morning, I got up to use the bathroom and then crawled back into bed. She was quiet as a mouse. But, as soon as I started to talk a little with SG, she started kicking me on my side and wiggling about. We both found that very amusing.

I'm starting to leak a tiny bit of colostrum from nipples. This is all very strange to me, being that I've had these boobs for about 32 years and they've never before done such magic tricks. But, I do find it all quite exciting just knowing that my body continues to prepare for the coming of our little girl. Looks like even though I'm 44, my body doesn't know any better and has kicked into full on baby mode. Awesome! I love defying time!

My belly is getting bigger and bigger. And, it is getting much more difficult to roll over at night. SG and I have been sleeping in a full sized bed since we married (That's how we got pregnant in the first place!), and it is definitely time to make a change. Boy, do we need a new mattress. Hopefully, we'll be making the plunge this next week or so. It isn't just the mattress that needs purchasing...its the sheets and the bedding. All of it definitely adds up, especially if you believe in the Oprah rule and buy the best bedding you can afford. You spend so much time in your bed, and shouldn't be ashamed to pamper yourself in that area. Granted, our bed is small. But, boy is it cozy!

I continue to have really bad days of exhaustion. Yesterday, I went to the mall for an hour and came home feeling like I ran a marathon. I zonked the moment my head hit the pillow. And no, it wasn't the luxurious down pillows that were at fault.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Follow the Bouncing Ball

24 weeks, 1 day

(She's reached viability! If I went into preterm labor today, she's got a chance of surviving outside the womb. However, let's hope for at least 37 weeks!)

It is official. I'm having problems tying my shoes. And, all future dressing from the waist down must be done in the sitting position. Otherwise, I'll topple over. Pregnant women are not Weebles. In fact, I was a one woman comedy sketch at Target the other day when I noticed my tennis shoes were untied. I attempted to bend over quite a few times before giving up. There was no way I was reaching my laces! So, up went my foot onto a nearby toy shelf, and my task was finally accomplished!

This weekend I had a shock. I realized February is here...which means that March and April were just around the corner. Holy Moly! The baby is almost here and I've not purchased a single thing (other than a couple of dresses and onesies). So, the nesting quickly began. I made sure I started getting my registry in order. I went to look at my girlfriend's crib and changing table that she's giving us (it needs painting). I've finally picked out a bedding set. I've started to seriously investigate cloth diapering. And, I'm getting together a "must have" list. This includes things we need to buy, like a video camera, storage boxes, etc. I also have been trying to narrow down my invitation list for the baby shower.

All this was done in a matter of 24 hours after discovering the rude ticking clock. It was just yesterday that I had plenty of time to sit and dream about the future. Today, I feel overwhelmed that there is not a whole lot of time left. It isn't that the things that need to be done are that numerous. It is coming to the realization that my state definitely slows me down and makes it much harder to get things accomplished. Something that may normally take me a day to do, takes me at least four. I have to stop and rest and take naps a lot! In fact, laying down to take a nap is a huge event. I can't sleep for an hour anymore. If I nap, I wake up after a solid sleep after at least three hours! I find this crazy! But, I've got the luxury to sleep, and so I'm letting my body do what it needs.

The photo posted above was taken at the specialist appt. we had last Thursday. She's smiling! The doctor was our "second opinion", and he says he can't tell if she's got a duplex collecting system or not. But, the blockage in her ureter is extreme and my have caused permanent damage to her kidney. But, we won't know for sure until she is born. We'll be having a joint meeting with the same doctor and a peds urologist in March, where they'll try and determine more. But for now, we know that she's doing fine otherwise, and should have a normal birth.

It's 10 am here and it is time for my three hour crash time. Night, night everybody!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Loving it

23 weeks, 0 days

This last week was one of the most pleasant I can remember. Our OB appt. was a joy! The ultrasound looked good. Though her kidney still shows a problem, it doesn't appear as though it has progressed. So, we are happy about that. She weighed approx. 1 lb, 7 oz, and all of her other organs and bones are growing beautifully. Amniotic fluid levels were great and it was fun to see her moving around once again. The best news we heard was that there were no signs of any Down's markers to be found. We breathed a sigh of relief after hearing that, especially after we opted out of the amnio. I'm really proud of us for not caving under all of the pressure a couple of weeks ago! She's looking great, otherwise!

I feel her move more and more. She does take little quiet breaks, where she is probably sleeping. But, as long as I pay attention and sit still, I can feel those sweet little bubbling feelings all over my tummy. I even saw her move! I was reclining on the sofa with my feet up, and she was kicking my upper tummy pretty hard. It was so strong, that when I laid the TV remote on me , it practically jumped off my belly! So funny. Yesterday, I was trying to explain to SG how I feel her moving everywhere. I was poking my tummy in all different places to show him, not realizing she could feel it. After a few of my pokes, she must have been annoyed because she kicked back. That sent us howling. We've got a feisty one on our hands!

I started registering for baby items this week. What a job! I'm still trying to figure out what we really need, and what is just baby industry hype. So, I'm taking it slow and only getting things that are essentials. I don't like any of the bedding in the stores and think they are terribly overpriced. We're also trying to get my baby shower date nailed down. Looks like it will be some time in March.

My PSD has been giving me trouble this week. It's probably because I've been doing a little more walking. I may have to get one of those pregnancy support belts. But, I'm putting it off because they look so darn uncomfortable. I'm just trying to stay off my feet too much for now. I'm still getting some days where I'm pretty exhausted. I'm starting to wonder if it is my blood pressure medication that has been causing a lot of the problem. I know exhaustion during pregnancy is common. But, I'm still trying to find my loophole. =)

Monday, January 12, 2009

Punching Bag

22 weeks, 0 days

Yesterday, SG felt her kick! What an exciting moment that was! I had been laying in bed and started feeling some kicks about 2 inches above my belly button. So, I put my hand on the area and WHAM! There was no mistaking that was our little girl. So, I called out to SG and he came a runnin' . And wouldn't you know it, once he got his hand on my tummy, she kicked him really hard. Hellooooo Daddy! I loved seeing the look on SG's face and hearing the glee come out of him as he yelled, "Oh My God! I felt that!" His eyes were the size of saucers and his face was beaming. It was a moment I don't think I'll ever forget.

Her kicking has definitely been more consistent, and I'm feeling her every day. Today, she must have been napping for a while (as was I). But, she woke up around 6pm and decided to check out the joint, moving around, kicking, and taking in the scenery.

We had a bit of a scare last Thursday. At about 7:30 pm, I started getting some slight cramping. It didn't feel like contractions, but more like period cramping....achy and lots of spasms. It was getting a little stronger over time and I didn't say anything to SG until it started getting worse.

At close to 8pm, we were surprised by a good jolt of an earthquake! (It was based over 30 miles away in San Bernardino, but we felt it pretty good here). Then at about 8:15, the cramps starting getting bad enough that I couldn't keep it a secret any longer. I started getting alarmed when some of the cramping started showing up in my lower back. We both got online to figure out if we should do anything about it. And then, I called my doctor. The on call Dr. said to wait for a bit. If the cramping still wasn't gone in about an hour, we should go straight to the hospital. Well, it didn't get better. And so by 9:45 pm, we were on our way to the Labor & Delivery Dept. and checked into Triage for monitoring.

The cramping had different phases of intensity, but seemed to be getting a little better over time. They had me hooked up on 2 monitors and a blood pressure cuff. We could hear our little girl's heart beat loud and clear, until she didn't like all the noise and kept repositioning herself. They also were monitoring me for contractions. Nothing was showing up, but the L&D nurses insisted that at 21 weeks, you can have contractions that won't show up on their monitors because they are so light. So, I had to stay. I was even given an injection of a muscle relaxer to see if the cramping would stop. My back pain stopped very quickly, but the abdominal cramping never quite went away. They even checked my cervix to make sure it wasn't dilating. (Not a great experience having a 300 lb nurse sticking her gloved fingers way up inside you and feeling around. LOL) By 2:30 am, I was sent home to rest and told to come back if anything progressed.

I went to sleep by 3:30 am, with the cramping still going on. The next day, both SG and I were exhausted. But, upon waking, I was pleased to find the cramping had ceased. I had a little bit start up again that evening, but it went away pretty quickly. That was such a relief! And, nothing has occurred since.

Lastly, I had my Endocrinology appt. today. All looks good. No need to change my thyroid meds just yet. I had a surge of something going on in my body at the time, because my heart rate was a whopping 110 bpm while sitting. My doctor made note of it and said he wants me to keep an eye on it. I think I was just tired and had a little bit of the "white coat syndrome" at the time. My resting HR has been anywhere from 80-103 over the last few weeks. So, the 110 was not a usual occurrence.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Waddling Along

21 weeks, 2 days

Baby continues to grow and is moving around more and more. It is as if Sunday, she was given keys to her first car and has been going ever since. Lots of turns and kicks and moves....all so very reassuring and fun to experience. SG still can't feel it from the outside yet, but the day is coming soon.

I've got doctor appointments coming out of my ears. Next week I'll see my OB and my Endocrinologist. And the week after, we'll see a new Perinatologist to get an update on her kidney. Then, we'll also be seeing a Urologist who'll be following her case as well. It isn't so much the busyness that gets to me, but the stress from hearing all the updates and news. So far, every time we go in, we've had bad news. I really just want to leave a doctor's office with a smile on my face again.

I've been diagnosed with PSD (Pubic Symphisis Dysfunction), and my pelvic carriage is misaligned due to loose ligaments from too much Relaxin hormone. I've had a bad flare up and have had problems walking and standing. Even sitting hurts like crazy. So, now I have to reduce a lot of my activity and retrain myself to do things a little differently. Did I mention I caused the recent flare-up because I was an idiot and assisted my 90 lb golden retriever up onto the bed? Yeah. Totally stupid (hits self over head). And let me tell you, it hurt! I'll never do that again! I'm already feeling a little better after following doctor's orders. But, the real test will be when I go grocery shopping today. Walking a lot and pushing carts are a no-no. But, our fridge and cupboards are bare and I gotta do something!

Note to self: DO NOT wear those maternity jeans again! The full panel doesn't hold up my pants and I can't walk 5 feet without them falling down. Soooo annoying!

We went to a hospital tour and orientation the other day. The hospital we chose looks like a freaking Ritz Carlton. It is beautiful, and perfect for bringing a princess into the world. ;-) Out of about 200 people there, we were the lucky winners of a raffle, which we get to choose from a couple of prizes.....discount on a breast pump rental, child rearing book and video, or a Mommy and Me class series. Just what every new mom dreams of... A massage at Burke Williams would have been more up my alley. =)