Wednesday, November 26, 2008

What A Week!

15 weeks, 2 days

Lots going on this week! To start, I woke up Sunday morning and had what they call "popped"! My uterus had flipped fully forward overnight and all of a sudden I looked pregnant! SG especially noticed it this morning when he went to hug me. My belly stopped him from getting in real close.

I've had an incredible increase in energy this week. In fact, I was practically bouncing off the walls yesterday. I didn't even stop to take a nap and had trouble falling asleep last night. I consider this a complete miracle. The last 10 weeks were sheer hell. How did the change happen so quickly? It was like a light switch. I have to admit, I'm a little giddy. I thought I'd never be my old self again! The nausea still hits daily, but it isn't too bad. I'm still taking Zofran periodically to give me a break from the desire to puke. And that makes me feel back to normal quite quickly.

I had a dream last night that I felt the baby move and when I reached my hand to touch my left side, I felt two little bumps (about the size of marbles). I reached for SG's hand and said, "Can you feel that? Is that what I think it is?" And he said, "Are you kidding? Are those testicles?" "OMG!", I said. "We're having a boy!" Weird dream, I know. But, it is the first dream I've had that gave me any feeling about the sex of the baby. We'll find out the real truth on Christmas day. We have an ultrasound on Dec. 18, where the technician will be writing the baby's sex down on a Christmas Card. We'll open the card on Christmas morning. I can't wait!

Last Thursday, I had my routine OB appointment. All is well. Heard the heart beat and the doctor went over all my recent tests. The most shocking news of all? I actually lost a pound over the last month!

Last Sunday, at lunch, I felt a little tapping feeling on the lower left side of my tummy. I told SG and my mom that I thought I felt the baby kick. In the end, I pretty much wrote it off as some little gas bubble. But, I've consistently been getting that same feeling in different areas of my lower abdomen. And this morning, I've been getting them in significant amounts. I've felt it at least 30 times since I awoke this morning! Wow. I'm telling you, I'm feeling them alot. I can't believe I'm feeling my baby move. What an amazing experience!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Sticking My Foot In The Water

13 weeks, 5 days

Well, I finally did it. SG and I actually walked into a baby store and bought our first item. And yes, I was afraid. As we parked in the lot in front of Babies R Us, I got a little weepy. This was it. I was finally admitting to myself that a baby was going to be with us in May. It felt good to finally let it sink in a little.

We walked around the huge monstrosity in amazement. So many things to think about. So many choices. So much money. I had no idea a new crib (without the mattress) could run in the $400s. Wow! SG's eyes became bigger and bigger and his skin a little paler the longer we stayed. We have to admit, it was a little overwhelming. But, we finally found a little onesie that we liked....non-gender specific....cuddly and cute. And that was it. The onesie is now here sitting in a bag on top of our coffee table and I've already taken it out a few times to look at. Just imagining that a little baby that we've created is someday going to fill it is so amazing. For the first time, I imagined it's breath, it's heartbeat, it's warmth and it's perfect little smell. I think I can get used to this idea really fast. And though we've only had the onesie in the house for less than 24 hours, I'm already a gonner.

So, that brings me to why I was able to actually get my feet past the threshold of a baby store yesterday morning. Our NT scan results came back with flying colors. The odds of having a baby with Down's Syndrome went from 1:30 (because of my age) to 1:375, and 1:10,000 for Trisomy 13 & 18. Those numbers make it a "negative result", which was a great relief to hear.

Yesterday, I had the best day I've had in months. I had enough energy to get out of the house for a few hours. I watered the garden, and even walked up the street to spend time with a girlfriend later in the evening. And, the nausea that hit around 8pm was minor. Wow. I actually had a good day. Though I've had a headache for 3 days in a row, that didn't seem to matter. I was excited that I could keep my eyes open for most of the day and not feel like I was going to puke for the rest of it. Here's hoping that yesterday is the first of many good days to come.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Do I Dare Believe?

12 weeks, 6 days

Tomorrow is my 13 week mark at being pregnant. At 44 years old, I never thought this would happen. And now that it looks like this little munchkin is actually going to stick, I'm wondering if SG and I have lost our minds.

I started getting pretty severe morning sickness starting at 6 weeks, and it hasn't stopped yet. Daily, (especially between weeks 6-11) I spent the day feeling as though I was in a tiny dinghy in the middle of a very swelly ocean. And, the feeling never subsided. It was unbelievably relentless. The last week or so, the nausea only seems to hit in the evenings. Which, is a drag after you've gone through an entire day exhausted and all you want to do is sleep.

I finally had to break down and buy some maternity clothes. It is mostly the pants that I'm needing, as none of my regular pants/jeans fit around the waist anymore. I'm getting a baby bump that is starting to become visible underneath my Pillsbury dough roll. And, it ain't a pretty sight. I wouldn't mind so much, if I looked pregnant. Right now, I just look really fat. And, I feel the need to say, "I'm pregnant" to people I meet so they know the difference. The expression on their face is usually complete confusion.

But all is not grim in preggo land. We've seen the baby quite a few times on ultrasound. And, this last week, could see it moving around like crazy. The technician was having problems getting it to lay on its back so she could do some measurements. Instead, it insisted on laying on its right side (exactly how mommy and daddy both love to sleep). We also have a home doppler, which allows us to check in daily and hear its heart beat. Last night it was a strong 154 bpm. The rate is dropping a little now that it is getting bigger. The highest recorded was 161 at 10 weeks.

Part of me is still too scared to embrace the idea that a baby is going to invade our home in a few months. It doesn't quite seem real. I've yet to step into a baby store. I think I'm just afraid. Not afraid of having a baby, but afraid that something is going to go wrong before it can get here. So, I'm still protecting my heart from disappointment. I keep telling myself I'll let my heart embrace the idea after we get back our NT Scan results this week (and after which I'll be in my 2nd trimester). The first part of the scan showed a great result of a 1.5mm width of the nuchal translucency area (anything under 2.9 is considered good). But, we are still waiting for the blood work to come in, which will be coupled together with the measurement and my age in order to give us the odds of having a child with defects. Not a pleasant thing to think about. But, because of the initial results, I'm feeling pretty positive. I think the day that I can walk into a baby store and buy my first little onesie, I'll know that I've let myself believe it.