Saturday, April 25, 2009

Holy Crap! I'm having this baby in 6 days!

36 weeks, 5 days

I'm sick to my stomach, feeling like I've fallen off a cliff, yet excited at the same time. Weirdest combination of emotions ever! Yesterday, our OB appt. proved to be one of the most surprising of all. He decided that this baby is getting too big and is worried that my body won't last until May 8th. So, we're delivering her on May 1st instead. Part of me is not surprised at all. I've been saying for months now that I thought she was coming the week of April 27th. But, another part of me is freaked out by my motherly intuition. How the hell did I know this?

So, of course, now we're running around like chickens with our heads cut off. We've got some major house cleaning to do and lots of errands, shopping and preparations to make. For example, Tuesday, we've got an appointment with the California Highway Patrol to properly install our car seat. We've already put it in ourselves. But, neither one of us trust the job we've done. I mean, are you supposed to jimmy rig it with duct tape to get it to stay on secure? Okay. Just kidding about the tape. But, we're really not sure if it is in right.

A.D.D Moment: I haven't even packed our bag yet! So, that is most definitely happening today. aaaack!

This pregnancy has also taken its toll over the last couple of days. My hands and face are getting pudgier, I've gained 3 lbs in the last week, and I'm really , really, uncomfortable. And, I feel like I'm about ready to die half the time. And no. I'm not kidding. I woke up at 3 am this morning and couldn't catch my breath. I had diarrhea and had nausea. My fingers were the size of sausages, I could barely walk, and my blood pressure was sky high at 132/102. That only made me feel worse. I woke up SG seeking comfort. And, as he lay there lovingly rubbing my back, I had a little meltdown and felt better. Sometimes a few tears can be the best medicine.

Speaking of emotional instability....

I have no idea what to really feel at the moment. On the outside, no one would ever know the turmoil going on inside me. I'm scared to death about being a mom. And I'm praying to God I don't screw things up. I want our daughter to be raised in a nurturing enviroment. And, I hope I can live up to the task. We are about ready to embark on an incredible journey. What an amazing gift! I just keep asking myself, "How in the world did I get here?". I was supposed to be miserable and living alone at the age of 44. At least that is what it looked like would happen to me just 3 years ago. Everything changed in the blink of an eye. And here I am... married to the perfect man and finally having the baby I always dreamed about. I'm serious people. This better not be a dream because I'm taking it out on someone if I wake up. Along with all the fear comes this amazingly huge dose of humility and awe. I'm going to be a mommy. And no matter how many times I say it to myself, it still feels like I'm making things up in my head. So now, when I say, "I'm going to be a mommy in 6 days", it is an unbelievable thing to grasp in my little ant brain.

I saw my girlfriend Joy's baby yesterday. She was just hours old and perfect in every way. And, I couldn't stop staring at her. In just a few days, I'll be laying in a similar bed as Joy, with a lucite bassinet next to me and a perfect little bundle of love of our own sleeping inside. I'm pinching myself and haven't woken up yet. I guess this must be real.

Please...let it be real.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Oh no....

35 weeks, 3 days

...I don't look uncomfortable AT ALL!



On a "lighter note", we have a scheduled delivery date! Our little girl shall be delivered at approximately 12:30 pm on April 8th. SG was devastated to hear this, as it is the opening day of the new Star Trek movie! LOL Should I let him go and tough it out on my own?

My OB appt went well today. I gained a pound in the last week and am now up 17 lbs. But, that is nearly all baby. Today, the ultrasound measured her at 9lbs. But, the technician is sure it is more like 8. Good god, let's hope so! I still have 3 weeks to go. Do you think I'll make it? All I gotta say is, THANK GOD FOR C-SECTIONS!

After having over a 9lb baby, I expect to receive a bouquet of roses with the following card:

Dear Michelle,

Congrats on your huge baby girl. Thanks so much for not involving me in the birth.

Love,
Your Vagina

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Something Strange Is Happening

35 weeks, 2 days

Something very strange has been happening. And today it got a lot worse. My husband and my dog are acting funny. No really. It is like they are sensing something in the air.

SG has been getting more and more lovey dovey with me over the last week. Today, he kept coming into our room just to give me a kiss, or a hug, or to tell me that he loved me. I honestly don't know what has prompted this. I did nothing knowingly on my end to stir things up. He's just....I don't know.....really in love at the moment. And, it just warms my heart to no end. He even came into the room when I was laying down and said that he's not sure what is wrong with him today. He's been getting "choked up" at the smallest things. He read about the remains of a baby mammoth that was found all by itself and completely intact. It looks like it just laid down for whatever reason, and died all alone. That got SG a little weepy, and he had to come in to see me. It is very sweet. But, very odd all at the same time.

Then there is my dog. My 90+ lb golden retriever has been acting similarly. Now, I've had this dog for over 10 years. So, I know his behavior pretty darn well. Over the last week, he's been very protective of me and won't leave me side. If I sit at the dining table, he needs to lay under it next to my feet. If I walk into the kitchen, he needs to follow me. If I lay on the sofa, he snuggles up on the floor right next to me. I go into the bedroom, and he must be within a couple of feet. Over his lifetime, he's had periods when he's gotten fairly needy. But not like this. Today, I was in the bathroom (which he never follows me into) working a flat iron through my hair. I heard a little whimper. When I went to the door, there he was, with a really sad face as if he was worried I'd been in there too long. I pushed open the door a little farther and he came in to lay next to my feet while I finished. So darn adorable. But, I need to ask why. Does he sense something?

Do my darling husband and doggie both have some deep knowing about what is about to happen? They say that dogs get very attached to women right before they go into labor. So, perhaps that has something to do with it.

It's all very strange to me. But, I can't help but feel terribly, terribly loved because of it.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

All Is Well

34 weeks, 1 day

Just a quick note to let you know that the appointment with the perinatologist and the urologist went well. Our OB was concerned that her ultrasound showed some signs of progression in her kidney problem. But, the two docs agreed that nothing really has changed. This means she doesn't have to be delivered early! I'll be seeing my OB again on Thursday, at which time I'm sure we'll be discussing a "normal" date for a c-section. He really thinks it is the best route for me at this point, due to my age, weight, high blood pressure and lower back issues. I've come to agree. The weeks are tick, tick, ticking by and there is no stopping it!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Creating Memories

34 weeks, 0 days

We were able to get a 3D shot of our little girl at our OB appointment this last week. Will you just look at those cheeks!! I just want to eat her up!


We had a whole lot of drama at the OB/ultrasound appt. But, I'm waiting until tomorrow to give you the full update. We'll be seeing her specialists again and will have more information to report. Her kidney problem looks like it may have progressed a little. And, there was talk of delivering her as early as the last week of this month! All to say, our heads have been spinning.

SG and I have been talking a lot about how we need to savor these last few days. Though we are going to love having a baby in our lives, we also realize that what we have today will be gone
forever. For the last few years its been just he and I, and our dog. Lots of quiet times and last minute jaunts to wherever the wind blows us. It is going to be a while before we can be so carefree again. We can't afford a real Babymoon, so we've been trying to do things that don't cost a lot. Today we took a day trip up to the Antelope Valley to see the California Poppies in bloom. They are literally at their peak. It was a gorgeous day. We took a lot of pictures, had some good laughs, and went on a relaxing drive. I don't think either one of us will ever forget this gorgeous day!


It looks like I'm already carrying two gallons of whole milk in my chest. Geez!

Here are some roadside beauties! I just love California Poppies...

Here is SG howling at our golden retriever, Harper (who is directly in back of him). Someone decided to take a dump. And, someone realized he didn't have a bag to pick it up!


On Saturday, my sweet neighbors gave me a baby shower! We had a great time, great food, fun games and oooooo, delicious CAKE! I'm a big fan of cake. Everyone was so incredibly generous. And, we got some great gifts.....blankets, bath supplies, clothes, clothes, clothes, a beautiful Moses basket, gift cards and little toys! It was the first of two showers that I've been blessed with. And, it was tons of fun. My next shower is coming up this Saturday.
Stay tuned. We'll have more to report in the next few days!