Sticking My Foot In The Water

13 weeks, 5 days

Well, I finally did it. SG and I actually walked into a baby store and bought our first item. And yes, I was afraid. As we parked in the lot in front of Babies R Us, I got a little weepy. This was it. I was finally admitting to myself that a baby was going to be with us in May. It felt good to finally let it sink in a little.

We walked around the huge monstrosity in amazement. So many things to think about. So many choices. So much money. I had no idea a new crib (without the mattress) could run in the $400s. Wow! SG's eyes became bigger and bigger and his skin a little paler the longer we stayed. We have to admit, it was a little overwhelming. But, we finally found a little onesie that we liked....non-gender specific....cuddly and cute. And that was it. The onesie is now here sitting in a bag on top of our coffee table and I've already taken it out a few times to look at. Just imagining that a little baby that we've created is someday going to fill it is so amazing. For the first time, I imagined it's breath, it's heartbeat, it's warmth and it's perfect little smell. I think I can get used to this idea really fast. And though we've only had the onesie in the house for less than 24 hours, I'm already a gonner.

So, that brings me to why I was able to actually get my feet past the threshold of a baby store yesterday morning. Our NT scan results came back with flying colors. The odds of having a baby with Down's Syndrome went from 1:30 (because of my age) to 1:375, and 1:10,000 for Trisomy 13 & 18. Those numbers make it a "negative result", which was a great relief to hear.

Yesterday, I had the best day I've had in months. I had enough energy to get out of the house for a few hours. I watered the garden, and even walked up the street to spend time with a girlfriend later in the evening. And, the nausea that hit around 8pm was minor. Wow. I actually had a good day. Though I've had a headache for 3 days in a row, that didn't seem to matter. I was excited that I could keep my eyes open for most of the day and not feel like I was going to puke for the rest of it. Here's hoping that yesterday is the first of many good days to come.